Several years ago, I heard a teaching by Scott Crenshaw. It was my favorite teaching. I listened to it over and over again for many years now. He shared a story in this teaching about a kid who had just rededicated his life to Jesus. He was the type of kid who many called a stoner, hippie or a peace lovin dude. One night at youth this kid was asked to pray for everyone & so he did. The youth leader was very nervous because this kid was a undignified person. He was himself. At all times. Genuine. Authentic. The real deal. This kid starts to pray & says something along the lines like this, “Dude man God. you are so cool. thank you for loving us & giving us this time to hang out with you. alright well i’ll talk to you later man.” When I think about people who I would want to be like, I think about this kid.
For about a year now, I’ve been weighing my options & deciding who I think I am, who God says I am & who I am for others. I’ve decided that who I am and where I’ve been are two different things. My past whether it was good or bad- helpful or hurtful- it is my past. If the people who surround me can not except that then I apologize although if I were who I was at the age of 16 I don’t believe I’d have my job. Or Josh.
What this blog post all comes down to is my belief in God. The sweet struggle of believing & having faith in God the trinity is so hard. By far one of the hardest decisions of my life. When I was much younger I always knew God existed. When I even try to believe God doesn’t exist my heart stops & I get all like Eminem, vomit on my sweater moms spaghetti-nervous with sweaty palms. Etc, Etc.
Lately, when I think about the kid in the teaching Scott spoke about years ago- I strive to get to back to that place. Where the only thing that matters is pleasing Jesus & loving people. I know some folks might look at my life & believe I’m some fallen away TBI alumni Which I am. I’ve fallen away from believing what I was told to believe to believing what I know in my heart & the experiences Ive been able to experience with a clear mindset.
If you don’t agree with me & have taken the time to read this blog post- thank you. I know God is faithful to complete what He has started in me.
Dios Fiel folks!