I’ve been contemplating writing about religion, my sexuality, my marriage and my life as a mom but every time I get down to it I start to think about the people who might read this and just judge every little thing I type. Then I start to think about how I would be wasting my time on my CPU, typing about my thoughts and what not’s and that no one cares. I don’t know why I let those thoughts get me down but they do. I’m here now and ready to talk. More like, type and hope that I’m not alone.
I absolutely don’t care if you don’t believe the same way as I do as long as we are both respectful and still loving. The world is filled with people of different beliefs and religions. Whether you follow a religion or spirituality is up to you. I’ve been struggling for a while now with admitting the truth of my religious belief. I believe in God. I believe in Jesus. I believe there is a savior for every one whether its Buddha or Jesus. Both came to save us (in my opinion.)
I feel like as a mom and wife I’m not allowed to talk openly about my sexuality because it isn’t “lady like” or doesn’t matter because you’re a wife and a mom. However, having those thoughts is like “the man” telling you what to do because they control everything. (haha.) Anyway, I like everyone. All genders. Yes, I am married to a person who identifies as a male. However, I am capable of being attracted to people outside my marriage just as anyone else is. 😛 (it’s called appreciating human species lol.)
This year has been the toughest year for our marriage. I got my heart broken and felt like our marriage was over but through prayer, therapy and counseling We were able to grow from it. Now, I’m falling in love again and it’s exciting.
Being a mom is weird. I love it. I love Calvin and I love watching him grow and learn new words. (he can say A-E in spanish!) He’s a character and he makes me laugh so much. Also, drives me crazy! (lol.) There was a time I took Calvin to the beach and he was eating blueberries. A bee landed on his hand with the blueberry and he chomped on the bee & the bee died but didn’t sting him. It was insane and Calvin just laughed. lol. I was freaking out and ran to the car with Calvin. lol.
Hopefully I can blog a few times a month about these things. I’m not giving advice just typing out the things that are happening in my life.